Let’s talk about reviews. All entrepreneurs hope for positive reviews. As business owners a negative review always kinda hurts and might even feel unfair in some cases, but it can also push us to grow. At BEST we work hard to prepare doulas for their work, to build an incredible community of birth workers, and we hope that all the birth workers we train feel honored, cared for and supported, ready to build their businesses, and do this world changing work. Sometimes, we may let someone down and we work hard to make it right. Sometimes, there are things we just can’t bend on because they are so real in our work and these are real lives we are talking about.
We received a negative review and we are appreciative that this individual was brave enough to share their experience and we invite you to read it in full. It is so absolutely important that we are doubling the scholarships available for BIPOC and Queer doulas. This means that you can register for any BEST training for $200 off. For registrations now through close of 2020 we invite all BIPOC and Queer individuals who would like to become a birth worker to use coupon code BIPOC or LOVE when registering for any BEST training and $200 will be taken off of your registration.*
Let’s talk about a few of these points.
I did not like how we were talked to for two hours about racism and what white people with privileges (making it sound like Amanda was assuming all white people have privilege) can do for our black communities in our area.
I also feel like they are playing favorites by offering training scholarships to only people of darker color and the queer community.
First up - racism, birth, and privilege. The CDC has found that black birthing people face 4 times the maternal mortality rate of white birthing people and that this is independent of education or income. This means that a black person cannot earn or educate their way out of this risk. The CDC has stated that this increased risk faced by black birthing people is due to systemic and institutionalized racism. This risk is even higher in some areas and you can read our thoughts on that here. We do not know what the answer to our country’s racism problem is, but we do know that representation matters and that birth work (doulas, midwives, OBs, childbirth educators, etc) is a very white area without enough representation.
Why is this scholarship available to the Queer community? Well, there’s not enough representation there either. We need Queer doulas and birth workers.
Does this mean that white people should not enter birth work? Cis-hetero people? Not at all. If you want to be a birth worker, we want you here and cheer you on! We also want you to understand the increased risk faced by some and how you can best support your clients.
Personally, I want to specialize in home births, but we didn't get any education on the home birthing process as a doula. Everything was extremely hospital centered.
What about homebirths and where does BEST land here? Maria and Amanda, the creators and trainers of BEST have both had homebirths. We don’t talk about our own birth experiences, because while personally important, for training doulas and supporting birth - they just don’t matter. We support bodily autonomy and an individual’s right to informed choice. This means we support your right to choose your health care provider (or not have one) and to choose where you birth - including at home. Here’s the thing about doula-ing: If you are supporting a physiologically normal birth (as would happen at home) the work of the doula looks pretty much the same at a home, birth center or hospital. We spend time discussing intuition, power and vulnerability, and the holistic stages of labor. We also spend time in training discussing what it looks like to support a cesarean birth, a birth with an epidural, an induction. . . because as a doula our work is to support our clients’ births - not our ideal births, and we never know what that will look like so we have to be prepared for it all!
Last and in our opinion least on this list (because lives of birthing people don’t depend on it)
And last but not least, I did not like that even though I choose to live a healthy and non-toxic lifestyle, we were told when at a birth to "just use the toxic stuff."
BEST Doulas can use any alternative or holistic measures of care that they are otherwise trained or certified to use (this is part of the BEST Terms of Agreement and Standards of Practice). This includes essential oils. Amanda uses oils at births sometimes. Maria not so much. Amanda carries a rose quartz massage wand. Maria doesn’t. Amanda uses non-toxic deodorant and loves skin and facial care products. Maria is very practical and uses what is easily accessible and she likes. Whatever you do is okay. Maria and Amanda are both friends and business partners - independent of the deodorant and massage oil they use, however natural or toxic. At training you might hear Maria lovingly poke fun at Amanda for this. Amanda is okay with it and feels confident about what she uses. Whatever you use, personally or professionally, is okay with us. Not all doulas have essential oils, crystals, and non-toxic deodorant. Some do. Your ability to be an incredible doula is not dependent on what is in your bag or under your arms.
Doulas aim to be non-judgemental. This means that we have to sometimes stand in uncomfortable space - we hold opinions and ideas that may be different than what is presented to us - by our trainers, our clients, our peers. Do the doulas we train have to agree with the ideas of BEST, Amanda or Maria? nope. All we ask is that you come to training with an open heart and mind. We might say things that challenge your thoughts, that reveal perspectives that you don’t have and realities of people’s lives that you may not experience - growing is often uncomfortable. We challenge ourselves and the doulas we train to keep trying to understand more, to question what we think we know, and to be actively non-judgemental, because non-judgement is not a passive state of being, and we teach this at training.
*not applicable to existing registrations