Sometimes the best moments of a training workshop are the ones shared when the training day has closed. When we are left with the thoughts of the day to fill our heads and over a meal, beautiful new doulas share with us their thoughts and ideas about the day’s topics. As we enter World Doula Week, we want to share with you one of these conversations. This one was about Taking Up Space.
In training we discuss the work of Sheryl Sandberg and her ideas of physically taking up space to raise one’s confidence and lower cortisol levels. We discuss this in the context of birth and how physical position impacts our clients, how our own physical position and impact the energy in a birth space, and how we can impact how we are perceived and our confidence in interviews and networking just by using the space around us. This is always a fun point to explore and one we use in our own practices still. But what came up at that incredible dinner convo is so many greater ways we take up space and this week, that is what we want to share with you.
What does it take to impact change in our communities? To be policy change makers?
We Take Up Space.
We email, we write, we call, we will persist in your space, never shrinking ourselves. When we feel beaten down we will rest to gather ourselves and then again, rise to take up space. And when our peer rests, we will rise again in turn. We won’t speak in hushed tones or soften our words for you. We will speak the names of our loved ones lost, mothers who should be parenting their children with us; we will share with you the shameful maternal mortality and fetal mortality statistics, the ugly racism that is driving our nation’s (and globe’s) maternal mortality rates for black birthing people. We will speak of the medical neglect and harm we witness, and we will call you to look in the mirror and wonder how you are responsible and what impact you are having. We will be at your meetings, in your inbox, on your voicemail. We will not shrink when we feel scared. We won’t be intimidated. We will schedule the appointment with healthcare providers and we will meet with administrations. We will Take Up Space.
For Clients
We will Take Up Space for our clients, beautiful people growing and bringing life. We will show up for you, help you find our words, and hold your birth space for you. We will use our voice and our bodies to amplify your own. We will hold you and hear you. We will walk with you and hold this space for you on earth while you travel into the depths of the universe and yourself to bring your baby here. We will remind you that you are safe and we see you. We will witness your joy and your sadness. We will Take Up Space for you, using our bodies, words, and energy to create room for you to Take Up Space.
For Doulas
We will Take Up Space for ourselves. The S in BEST stands for Sustainability. As doulas we will take up space for ourselves to help us be sustainable in this work. This means professional boundaries, subscribing to an abundance model rather than a scarcity model, recognizing our worth, earning a living wage, using resources we need like therapy, massage, and physical health care to keep us whole and well; it means defining what we need as doulas and maintaining some fluidity around those defines so that we can thrive. To be the best for someone else, we must Take Up Space for ourselves. Without that, we have no space or energy to share.
For Ourselves
We will use our minds to Take Up Space and always be a learner. We will forever look for space to grow and be better. We will move and push to be more inclusive, more understanding, more curious, more generous and we will hold this space. We will hold this space for marginalized voices and be a listener. A wise expert will always ponder what they don’t yet know. We will Take Up Space with our bodies we are told are too big; we will not diminish our physical selves to fit into medical myths of health. We will Take up Space with our sexuality; we will not accept lesser care because our family doesn’t look like yours. We will Take Up Space with our gender; we will not be placed into boxes of pregnancy “shoulds” that make the masses comfortable and we will celebrate the Mother, the Parent, the Feminine, the Masculine, the Fluid, and we will know that our shared human experiences are not limited by the defines of language. We will Take Up Space with our race; sharing our voices, amplifying voices, acknowledging the impact of race and understanding the critical importance of representation and understanding.
World Doula Week is not a time for discounts that decrease our income and devalue our work.
This is a time for us to look within, and stand with one another, to say “This is our Week. This is Our Space.” How are you Taking Up Space this week? How are you creating change? How are you caring for YOU? What does it mean for you to Take Up Space? Our challenge for you this week, and always, is to Take Up Space! We can’t wait to see you!
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Take Up Space 2022!
Our beautiful artwork is by Fat Lemon Prints.
